I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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