Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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