so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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