i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
