yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
