The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
