I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
