If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
