What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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