She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she told me i tasted like america
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize