I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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