part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
