and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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