You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
