she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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