I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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