thus making me awesome and them whores
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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