Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
