I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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