yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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