There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
