how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
