The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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