Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
