so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
