Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My breasts were aching with rage.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
