I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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