I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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