So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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