I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
