I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
