we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
