I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Randomize
