you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
