Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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