Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
