i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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