That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
