so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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