You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
