do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
