Just cropdusted the office
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
