Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize