Pappa wants mamma naked
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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