I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize