I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
