dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
