I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
