Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
