Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize