lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
