I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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