The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
