This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize