Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
