Kareoke will never be a sober sport
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
