if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
a search helicopter?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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