Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
