im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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