She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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