She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
