no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
