So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
