The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
