I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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