I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
