i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do vagina's smell?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
