A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need a beard to bite.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The ass gains better be worth it
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