just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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