Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize