he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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