I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
