I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
