Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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