I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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