I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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