I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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