You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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