I think my vagina is haunted
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
