when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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