Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize