So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
