When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
