How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
