her vagine was all disorganized.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
